Friday, June 4, 2010

Everythings going downhill...

So today I woke up feeling pretty good. I felt hungry, which was a great feeling. I don't really get how something as unpleasant as hunger pangs can feel so great :D Anyhoo, the feeling didn't last.

At lunch I was planning on getting just an ice coffee with skim milk, no sugar. But then my friends were buying sushi. Before I knew it, i was eating avocado maki. But that's not even the worst of it.

After school I was at my friends house, and i had a bean burrito. With cheese. With sour cream. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.


why am i so fucking weak??!?!?!?!

I know I should have purged, but I've never been able to. I don't think that I'm ready to meet Mia just yet. Ughhhh but i feel disgusting.

Today sucked. Of course ana was there the whole time, reminding me to not give in to the food, but I kept trying to push her to the back of my mind. Now shes pissed off at me, and I feel like total shit.

Tomorrow i will be better. Just studying all day, 'eating' when my mom happens to be out of the kitchen. I'll try to stick to veggy juice, water, and if desperately needed, a luna bar...........Dinner is still a hassle and an obstacle though.

On verra.


Love,

Elle

1 comment:

  1. I love the feeling of hunger too :) It makes me feel accomplished. It makes me not eat because I don't want that feeling to go away. Oh, and if you're wondering, I found you through another blog. I'm a browser hah. (: But I like your blog. Starve on!
    xoxo kay

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